Playtime

Several months ago I came across a message board discussion on Mothering (www.mothering.com) that discussed playing with one's children. The mother who wrote the original post was saying she felt bad because she didn't like playing with her kids. She seemed to be having a lot of the dreaded "mommy guilt" because of it. Several other posters chimed in that they too did not enjoy playing with their kids. I wish it hadn't been so long ago so I could put a link to the discussion here. I tried a search but too many unrelated threads come up.

Anyway, the gist seemed to be that as long as the parent provided a place to play that encouraged play, it was not necessary for the parent to actually play with the child. I was a bit taken a back by this. While I certainly agree that it is important for kids to learn to play on their own...I think it is really good for kids to get play time with their parents too. And, I was mainly just surprised that there were parents who didn't like to play with their kids. I've thought that getting to play with my kids was one of the best parts about having them.

I noticed lately that I was not really spending much time playing with my kids though. Life kept getting in the way - "gotta do this, gotta do that...blah blah blah" And that post I read, and the thoughts I had when I read it, kept creeping back into my head...not that I don't like to play with my kids but that even if I did like it, if I didn't do it, then my kids were still missing out - and so was I.

So, I've been trying to really play with my kids lately. Maybe I just get really silly with Sam and start running around the house making funny noises or spinning him around. Or, I'll get in the sand box with him and make some really cool sand castles. Today we played with his blocks and cars making ramps and roads and buildings. I've totally fallen in love with playing all over again! It is just fun! I'm laughing outloud, my kids are laughing, we're bonding, I feel younger and can literally feel all this energy. Normally, after Sam goes to bed, I'm like a big giant couch turd - good for absolutly nothing other than maybe changing the channel on the TV if the remote is close enough. Tonight, after playing with Sam before he went to bed, I cleaned the kitchen and dining room - something that I always mean to do at night but rarely manage. The wonderful feeling I had from playing has stuck with me. What a bonus!

Another thing I noticed is that while I start playing with Sam mainly to spend time with him and to kind of show him stuff that can be done with his toys by example...I end up playing like a kid - not an adult. I'm just doing what seems like fun and enjoying myself...I have to remind myself that I am the parent so I don't snatch toys away from my kids 'cause I wanna play with them! Today, at the playground, I got in the sandbox with Sam and was going to build sand stuff with him but he seemed like he wanted to play on his own so I built a sand snow man and it just felt so great to just play instead of just sitting there like usual having the same old parenting discussions with whichever parent happens to be near bye - that just gets dull after a while.

My point to writing all this is that while I rarely think I am the type of person who be an example for anyone, I do think that I've met lots of people who do not spend enough time playing like a kid. Just free for all - no thoughts attached - fun playing. I'd like to tell people - go on out and play! Laugh! Run around chasing someone! Play capture the flag! Be a kid again :) I hope to spend at least some time every day in child like play, if anyone wants to join me - let me know!

And, since I've heard that blogs without pictures are boring - here's some random shots :)